I’ve been considering the future more than ever. When those who are close to you come close to death — and then pass away — it makes you rethink everything you’ve ever done. Did I waste time when I was younger? Did I make the right decisions? Do the decisions I made really matter? How can I make more of a difference? I don’t want kids. So how can I make sure I leave behind something else: a legacy?
The answer is easy. Making an impact to as many people as possible means that I’ve done all I can in life. But I’m still wondering how to make that impact.
Recently, I contacted a friend from an old law firm who I used to exchange information with often. He came for a visit here once. We agreed that a hostile work environment isn’t a right fit for me. We also laughed when we discussed the irony of a hostile work environment resulting from providing legal help to clients who are suing due to…a hostile work environment. Sometimes those people are angry. Lawyers get splashed even when trying to help. They live with it and cope however they can.
Anyway, this has all been on my mind. I’ve been wondering and wondering, and leaving you all in suspense as to what I’ll do. I came up with something! …Decision making classes!
These classes specialize in specific subsets of skills, all of which have to do with improving decision making. For example, they will teach me to solve problems. I will learn to act as a leader. I will learn to reason, both with others and when exposed to the aforementioned problems. I will learn teamwork, time management, and organizational skills. In addition, I will learn the importance of intuition, emotional intelligence, and creativity.
Will these classes make a difference? I have no idea! But I’m hoping they leave me with more confidence.
When I look down that list, I think my biggest problem is organizing my own thoughts and ideas, and then reasoning out which are the ones to turn into action versus which ones should be filed away into the deeper recesses of my mind. We should all be more informed about the decisions we make. That means researching every possible contingency about the things we wish to do in life, and then making a decision. We can use new information to adapt to the decisions already made, but for the most part we need to stick to the decisions we’ve already made.
I think it will feel weird learning about intuition and creativity in a classroom setting — or at least one that has nothing to do with writing — but I’m willing to give it a try. Not knowing what to do is exhausting. This is especially true after the last year of hell. Mes amis, I wish you all the best. Hopefully you’re making better decisions, and faster decisions, than I have!